Up until this weekend I hadn't been sick since chemo ended. Yes, I've felt bad from surgery and have had the random cold, but overall I have been pretty healthy. I hadn't experienced being truly sick as a cancer survivor. Now, unfortunately, I know that being sick takes on a whole new meaning when you're a survivor.
It all started last week, when Marah had strep throat. The child is a bit like a puppy, jumping on me and practically licking me all the time. So, I wasn't terribly surprised when I realized I had a fever when I was at work on Friday. No big deal, I left early to go to the doctor to get some antibiotics. I actually felt pretty decent and was eager to let the amoxicillin start doing its job. It didn't take long after the first dose for me to start feeling terrible, and I felt worse after the second dose. I am definitely allergic to amoxicillin, so the doctor prescribed me a new antibiotic and zofran. Yes, zofran. The anti-nausea drug that was my best friend during chemo. I didn't think I'd ever see that drug again, but there I was in the Walgreens parking lot ripping the package open as soon as I made it through the drive through.
Being sick has been rough, emotionally. Laying in bed, feeling awful, looking at the same maple tree start to change color that I watched in September 2015, I felt a profound sadness. Everything reminded me of cancer. I reached out to fellow survivors and learned that so many of us struggle when we are sick after cancer. Even being home alone in the middle of the day bothers me now. Most days cancer is such an afterthought but it has been forefront these last few days and I don't like it. I don't like feeling like I did when I was going through chemo. I'm on the mend now (keeping liquids and crackers down, yippee!) and hope it is a long time before sickness comes calling again.
In other news....I still love my church and the great people there, I am traveling for work again, and my hair is looking pretty wonderful. I've been lazy again and the scale tells me I need to work out. Farrell's - while I love it - is just too expensive for our budget. So, I'll find something soon otherwise none of my clothes will fit any more! And, of course, Pinktober is just around the corner but this year, so far, I'm not feeling hostile toward the pink. Maybe this year I will embrace it. Stay tuned!
